Monday, August 8, 2011

I work with hillbillies and all about buying expensive baby junk

I have mentioned before that the people I work with are certifiably crazy. I have mentioned before that the people I work with are dirty hillbillies. I imagine that you, my faithful reader, aware of my love for hyperbole (used strictly as literary device to make my strong opinions clear) may have written these accusations off as more of my excited ramblings.
Today, while sitting in my office minding my own business, I witnessed a lengthy conversation about how to make your own moonshine in your kitchen. How to rig the whole thing up with a pressure cooker and (this is an exact quote) 'some copper tubing taken off a job site.' This conversation took place IN. MY. OFFICE. In the middle of the work day.
Hillbillies. Dirty ones. It's official. Making moonshine in your kitchen with stolen copper tubing official.
First of all, EW.
Second, EWWWWW, why do I work here???
Third, anyone know of opening in a non-hillbilly operated business open immediately? I feel as though i have had all the moonshine chat I can handle for... the rest of my life.

On a mostly not related note, I went garage sale-ing with my mom on Saturday. We went to some shaaaaaady sales in g-town. I'm talking shady. They are probably cousins/married to the hillbillies I work with. Then we stopped by a friend's house who was having a garage sale, and scored an extra base for our carseat for $5. (they are $60 to purchase new from the store.) Normally, I would be against purchasing items such as carseats used, just because you never know if the item has been in an accident or has in some other way been compromised. I felt confident purchasing it from my friend, as I trust her and she said it had never been in an accident and she is a very clean person and excellent mother.
Second hand safety items from trusted friend = okay.
Second hand safety items from hillbilly stranger = just say no.
Actually, it doesn't have to be a hillbilly (that's just my theme today) I wouldn't recommend second hand safety items like a carseat or base from any stranger... even if they have all their teeth.
Okay.

On the tail end of my car seat bargain, we decided to spent a buttload of money on a fancy upholstered glider/rocker for our nursery. I kept going back and forth on whether or not I was willing to spend that kind of money on it... but I was having an 'it's okay to splurge with money we did save for this specific purpose' kind of day, so I told Z we should go shopping. I set us a budget that I thought was on the high side of reasonable, but we quickly discovered we would be hard pressed to stay within that budget for what we were wanting. In fact the first store we went to... the cheapest chair they had (which we did like well enough) was sill going to put us over that budget, and that was before tax, and all the protection plan they would try to sell you 'becuase your kid will probably puke on it'. SIGH.
Store number two. Cheaper prices... lower quality... but still found something that we liked, coming in just a little under our budget but tax and 'your kids gonna puke on it' plan would take us to just above our budget. I sighed, but decided we wouldn't find anything cheaper (trust me, I have searched tirelessly) so lets just do it.
So we did. they totalled up our ticket-- just over our budget, as predicted. We took the ticket to the front to pay, and SURPRISE!
There was a mystery sale price that rung up that the sales person apparently didn't know about or didn't tell us about. And because the 'your kids gonna puke on it' plan was based on a price point, the sale price took that cost down as well... and our 'just over budget' rocker came in at about $100 UNDER budget. And I didn't sigh and feel frustrated about the amount anymore, but strutted out of the store like a ROCKING CHAIR BUYING ROCK STAR.
Because that's pretty much what I am.
(And I guess Z can be too if he wants... because he let me get the chunky corduroy upholstery which is super soft and I am a little bit tooooooo excited about.)

So, just to summarize this post (heck I could have saved you a bunch of reading): If you make moonshine you are a hillbilly and I might be your co-worker. Don't put your child's safety in the hands of a stranger, even if they have all their teeth. Z and I bought a chair and are rock stars.
That is all.

1 comment:

ztoamom said...

Rock on, girlie. You were aware of the running "Rock" pun even though it might be also called a glider? I thought you did it on purpose, you funny mommy.