Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Valerie's Wish List

Things I can honestly live without, but still desire very much to live with. Most of these are-- er-- higher price points, but feel free to indulge me for the next gift-giving holiday, or you know, just for fun. :) I've included links for each item. In no particular order:

Kitchenaid Mixer
: It's pretty, shiny, red... I mean, I could mix things by hand-- but, why???

: preferably on a beach or in my own backyard (but that requires me actually having a back yard) But... ahhh... yeah. (Side note: I enjoy that the hammock website's catch phrase is 'accomplish nothing...')

Jimmy Choo: Dear Jimmy, I might love you... These are just so pretty, I can't stand it. I'll take a pair in size 6 please!

Vera Wang Mattress: Okay, for real, it doesn't have to be Vera Wang. But it just cracks me up that she started off designing wedding gowns and has moved on to a mattress collection? Weird. However, my bed is old, sad, and worn out... and in my wildest dreams, I wake up in a big ridiculously comfortable bed--sans backaches and soreness. Ahhh... :)

Cast iron grill: (Note: also kitchenaid, same shade of red.) Who doesn't love enameled cast iron? I could do some serious damage with this in my kitchen. Flank steaks, anyone?

1 ct Diamond Ring: Self explanatory. And beautiful.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

No, I'm not engaged.

I am pretty sure just about every conversation I had today started with no, I am not engaged yet. Then they want to know why. Then they think they are the first to recommend that i should really get going on that. The next comment is, oh maybe someone should have a talk with that boy... and maybe someone should. But I am not going to be that someone, so knock yourself out. Thus far it has not been an overwhelming success, which is one of the reasons I decided to post here. Let's clear up this matter once and for all:
Henceforth, all questions regarding engagement (including, but not limited to: if it has happened, when it will happen, how it will happen, if there will be a ring, if he already has the ring, if he is planning on talking to my dad, if he is going to surprise me, how long we plan to be engaged, and/or how we will announce to the masses) should be directed to a Mr. Zachary Pogemiller. Contact info is available upon request.
(sorry, chief. I love ya, but I'm throwin' you under the the bus on this one.)

Monday, April 20, 2009

Best quote of my week:

"I got my eye brows waxed once-- I will never do it again. I was Michelle Kwan for a week."

Random List

I thought it was time for more random thoughts of a valerie, and you all know how I love a good list... so here we are, a list of nothing in particular, in no particular order:
1) My job gets a bad rap, so I feel it is time I said something positive about it: Working with two mom's who bring their children to work every day has been EXCELLENT birth control. Now then, see what a nice place it is to work? I am sure your perception has changed greatly. Okay, I feel better.
2) I was really excited about these little no-show socks for wearing with ballet flats. They are kind of not effective. well, I guess they funtion as socks, but the definitely show and look silly. I think I have discovered the flaw: They are 'one size fits all', right? So I am thinking if i had a size 11 ft as opposed to a siz 6 ft, they would stetch out more, and thus not show. I have never before wished for larger feet and I am not going to start now, so i guess I must be wishing for smaller socks, becuase the concept it amazing, even if the execution leaves something to be desired.
3) I do not know what Twitter is, nor do I understand how it works or why it is necessary.
4) I believe I have been asked at least once a day every day since December if I am engaged yet. Nope. Not yet. The next question is always... when's it going to happen? Um... how am I supposed to know? And If I did know... why would I dilvulge the info to a curious acquaintance while keeping it a secret from everyone else? Silly people! Stop asking!!! It will happen soon enough... and as soon as the info goes public, I am sure you will know-- because Judy Sass can barely contain her excitement as it is, and given the chance she can spread juicy information faster than old ladies at a prayer meeting, It's truly amazing.
5) My favorite pair of earrings don't actually belong to me. They are a pair of earrings I bought for my mom on a whim one day becuase I thought she would like them. As it turns out, she did, quite a bit, as do I. And so the earrings travel between us-- me sometimes stealing them for months at a time before she spies them dangling from my lobes or in my jewelry box, and reclaims them. Right now they are in my posession! Shhh...
6) I applied to be a public notary for my work... which kinda makes me feel as though I should have poofy blue hair and thick glasses with one of those pearl chains to keep them around my neck... because every notary I have ever known was about 400 years old. Turns out the age requirement is 18. Who knew?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

A Different Kind of Job Security

It's one thing when YOU feel like your job is worthless and below your intellegence level, it is quite another thing when your boss affirms that very thing:
"...don't think of it as a bad job, think of it as job security--because no one else around here would stoop low enough to do the job you do." --My Boss, when discussing with me the new changes in my job description.
As you might have guessed, my self-worth is sky high today. I also have a strong sense that the people around me respect and appreciate what I do. I'm going to go bury myself in some paperwork now.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The IRS just isn't worth it.

I'm a procrastinator. And a panicker. And when I procrastinate and things go wrong at the last minute I panic BIG TIME. Which brings us to 'tax season' which is just code for 'big breakdown waiting to happen'... because lets just be honest when you wait til the last two days to do your taxes, things are not going to be where you filed them, your numbers aren't going to make sense, and your bank is going to charge you $20 to print the statement you lost from last year. (yeah, they did, that was kind of crappy of them , wasn't it?)
So I was preparing my taxes, poised and ready for the breakdown... and there it was, (or wasn't as the case may be--) the necessary missing and unattainable document that would send me in my panicking downward spiral to IRS failure, death and doom. Ready to forsake all hope, and cry like a little girl over my lack of ability to get my taxes done correctly and on time... I did the only logical thing anyone in my situation would, I called a friend to whine about how much i hate taxes. After a good 15 minutes of cursing taxes, and cataloguing all the evils involved with filing them, my good friend sympathetically agreed, "The IRS just isn't worth it."
And she's right, you know. Probably not worth my drama and panicking and tears and hatred. The IRS doesn't know. They don't care. I would have thrown in the towel right then and there and just said "SCREW YOU, IRS!!!" But I was afraid that they might hunt me down and kidnap my dog for ransom if I didn't pay (which i inevitably always have to do...)
So I pulled myself together and grumpily worked my way through the rest of my tax preparations, and filed my taxes the next day.
As it turns out, the IRS is worth it-- because for once, they owed me money, instead of the other way around. HA! I feel strangely vindicated this side of filing my taxes. And I did it with hours--nay, DAYS!-- to spare. I'm pretty much a tax genius.

Monday, April 13, 2009

WANTED: Roommates... maybe

Roommates are some of the most frustratingly elusive people in the whole world. And here's the catch... when you want/need a roommate-- (someone to share the rent?) there are none to be found. But when you have had a long crappy day, and don't necessarily want anyone around you... there they are on your couch with their boyfriend and a saliva heavy display of their undying love for each other. I get it, couple time is fun, but there is a reason (i think) that you pay rent... go mack in the privacy of your own room.
Unfortunately, the more I look for a place I could live on my own, the more I discover I really REALLY cannot afford to live on my own... which means roommates come down to that age old conundrum: Can't live with them, and can't really live without them either.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


Not one of my better days. I blame it on the lack of food. I misplaced my phone, I may have left it in Lance's car, or one of the many places we went this morning (walmart, restaurant, etc.). I've tried calling it from the 'rents phone, and calling him, but no answer either place (shocker). At least I didn't drop it in the toilet this time (I promise, I actually checked there.)
Without my phone, I headed over to my parents today so i could use their Internet. I had one main purpose for my trip over here: To transfer some pics from my camera and email them to Donnie because I have been promising him pictures for days. I got over here and all set up to work, only to discover my camera is absolutely 100% dead. SO! There will be no picture transferring or emailing happening today... making me once again full of empty promises. Sorry, Donnie.
I had been at my parents house only a few minutes when my mom got home... she didn't look too pleased that I was over here, though she seems to get frustrated with me very easily these days. Not real sure what that's about. But anyway, I think I need to leave before I do any damage.
And... I have been craving chicken strips for two days now. Go figure. I don't even like chicken strips.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Really Fast Girl

(Note: the title of this blog has nothing to do with the subject, but is a throwback to a character my roommate played in a variety show in high school. Still makes me laugh... Anyone?)

Today is day 1. Over the next 10 days, up until Easter (!!!!!!) I will be fasting and praying. I am actually looking forward to it-- I know it will be a challenge, but I know it will be a growing experience for me. Day 1, and I am already learning from the experience.
Wish me luck on my endeavor... I might blog along the way to fill you in on details-- or any life changing insight I encounter. (don't hold your breath for that one.) haha.