Friday, February 26, 2010

Why would I be stressed?

Alert the historians because I have an undiagnosable case of... something... for the history books. Ah yes that's right, today I baffled doctor number four--so no one has any flipping idea why for two point five weeks the skin on my torso resembles that of a dragon. And it just keeps getting more exciting because it's refusing to behave like a normal diagnosable disease and is now spreading to extremities and my neck and scalp. Gross, right?
So I am at the doctor today and he is rattling off a list of things: Have you eaten...? Could you have been exposed to...? Did you change...? Nope, nope, nope.
Has there been any increased stress in your life? Like death of a loved one? Changes in living situation or family structure? Problems at work? Health issues? I notice you are getting married in may, has planning a wedding been at all stressful for you?
Um, let me think... check, check, check, check, check, and check. Yup, all of those... and to top it off... I HAVE THIS DAMN SKIN DISEASE THAT NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT!!! I can't go out in public, i can only take one [COLD] shower a day and i smell like icky medicated lotions, I itch and hurt til i think i am going to lose my mind, and I am on and off steroids which have caused me to gain significant amounts of weight, oh, but i am not allowed to exercise because sweat irritates my 'condition' which, by the way, YOU STILL CANNOT IDENTIFY!!!!
Why, oh why, oh why would I be stressed?
So basically what it boils down to, because they cannot determine any other factors that may have caused it, they are currently attributing my 'condition' to stress.
So here's your daily dose of cruel, cruel Irony: This is my own doing, and will be my undoing...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Dragon Girl

I am not someone who believes "everything happens for a reason." I think thats stupid. There is a lot of stuff in life that happens and it is horrible and senseless, and there is no reason for it. It's just a part of living as imperfect beings in an imperfect world. That being said, when senseless, horrible things do happen, I am finding there is often something I can learn from the dealing, greiving, or healing process. Is my personal growth the REASON for sickness, misfortune, and disaster? Nope. Not at all. Is it a possible positive outcome in an otherwise devastating circumstance? Uh huh. Can be.
I think.

Friday, February 19, 2010

M'mm... Mousey!

Yesterday we were having lunch at work and I was sent to the supply closet to grab some paper towels. I reached down to grab a roll from the stack on the floor and inches from my hand is a dead mouse. I definitely jumped back and may have yelped in surprise... then made one of the guys take it out and throw it in the dumpster. Mouse #1. They reset the trap.

Later that day Jess squeals from the kitchen that one just ran across the floor... we can't figure out where it went, though... so we go about our business.
About 10 minutes later I am on the phone with a customer and I hear noisy yelling and stomping and furniture moving coming from the kitchen. By the time I get off the phone and in there to figure out what is going on, my bosses are standing around looking proud and Jess and saying, "Gross, guys, just get rid of it!" Apparently the cornered a mouse under the table and killed it by stomping on it... then were standing around admiring their work. UGH. That's #2.

This morning I had to get back in the supply closet and as I was opening it, i was saying to Jason I was a little worried about what I would find... and sure enough the same trap as yesterday was flipped with something fuzzy beneath it. That's mouse #3 dead. Jason disposed of the mouse and brought the trap back in to reset it. Dave suggested we put peanut butter on the trap, and so I found some in the cabinet and he used a fork to spread it across the trap. Jason joked, "Are you going to lick that fork clean?" And Dave popped the fork in his mouth and licked the rest of the peanut butter off... "Dude, there was just a dead mouse on that trap!" "Oh, I thought it was a new one! Gross." Um, I have some hand sanitizer on my desk you can gargle with??? so gross. I hate rodents.

Just a little bit ago Jeremiah came into my office points to the door right across from me and says, stay out of there, I just saw your little friend slip under the door. Great. That's at least the fourth mouse. (How many can there be?) I have tried to stay in my office with my feet on the chair, because I have to be honest with you, I am not a fan of mice of any kind-- be they dead or alive. I was on the phone with a customer when I heard rustling behind me... turned around just in time to see (maybe?) a small shadow scoot around the corner. Two minutes later I hear more rustling behind a recycle box in the corner. Well, I am not going to check it out-- so I walked down the hall to Dave's office.
"I think there is a mouse in my office."
"Why do you think that?"
"I can hear it rustling and scampering. Is there anything we can do about it?"
"Turn up your music?"
That's very helpful. Thank you.

Only a half hour, and I can leave this rodent infested place for the weekend. Thank goodness... Do I dare check the supply closet again before I leave?

UPDATE: Since this post was written we have caught 5 more mice in traps... and yesterday happened upon a crime scene when we arrived at work! 2 traps drug into the middle of the floor, (one was sprung, the other a glue trap)and there is blood all over the floor around the traps, but no body to be found. And no path leading away from the traps... soooo... did the mouse drag our traps out, have a party open a vein for a while to confuse us, then bandage it all up and go home for the evening? No idea. We need CSI:Rodent!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

FAT Tuesday

I could be out gorging myself on packzis or any number of deep fried foods and participating in drinking and general merriment. However... I am at home alone covered head to toe (yes, even my ears-- it's not right) with little blisters. Looks like i have chicken pox. UGH. I did hop in my car to procure some frozen custard from Sheridan's (they mercifully have a drive through). The frozen custard is so thick and cold... m'mm... it's just blissful. I plopped on my couch to watch some olympics and men's figure skating is on, and I am just not comfortable with that much sheer, bejeweled, spandex on anyone, much leass scrawny males with bad hair. Plus if I see one more skater fall i am throwing something at the TV. You are at the OLYMPICS for God sake, QUIT FALLING. These skaters suck. Men's figure skating is lame. I'm drowsy and my head is throbbing. I am on some strong steroids that make my skin crawl, and make me super hungry all the time, and a little bit loopy. Plus I want to scratch that part of my back I can't reach and the guy on the tv has that flesh colored mesh stuff on his unitard (yes, i said unitard) and thats just not right. My dog smells bad, I should give him a bath but my head hurts. I think I already said that, but whatever. Fat tuesday sucks. I want donuts.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Bad habits

Whenever I talk with my fiance, family, or sometimes even good friends on the phone, I always end the conversation with... Love you, bye! It just becomes habit after a while... and not an altogether BAD habit, but one you have to be careful about.
That being said, it was only a matter of time before that habit expressed itself in an inappropriate setting. I'm distracted at work doing about 4 things at once, trying to get off the phone with one of the service guys-- Okay I gotta get the other line, Love you, Bye.
and then I got the giggles so bad because I just told someone on the phone at work that I love them... which is a little awkward and incredibly funny to me at the same time. I quickly hung up the phone. But I think next time he calls in I will probably get the giggles again. And have to explain myself. That's... um, awesome.
Hey, no one tell Z that I am professing my love to other dudes while I'm at work. hahaha

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

SUPER helpful!

I hate doctors. I hate going to the doctor. I just don't find them useful or helpful. And they ask too many personal questions, and then state the obvious like i couldn't already figure it out. Take today for example:
Dr: So what seems to be the problem?
Me: I think I am having an allergic reaction to something.
Dr: And why do you think that?
Me: I developed a rash all over my torso. Thats not normal.
Dr: Well, it appears as though you are having an allergic reaction to something.
Me: (Glancing at my blister covered torso)WHAT!!!??!!? How can you be sure?
After I explained meds i was taking that caused the allergic reaction, she consulted with another doctor, and they agreed that I had properly diagnosed the cause of the reaction and that I should not continue to take those meds. Oh, and would you like to pay by credit card or first borns for today's consultation?
Thanks Doc, you've been SUPER helpful.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Fingers crossed!

Ooooh... oh my goodness found these chandeliers online today and they match my candelabras so perfectly it's ridiculous... and they are more than i still have in my budget to spend on wedding decorations but I made the seller an offer and I am praying she wants desperately enough to get rid of them that she takes it... becuase... ooh... they would be PERFECT. Come on seller lady... I know you want to make my day!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Wedding Lessons

So weddings tend to be rather drama-filled. So many expectations coming from so many different people and places... it's just a recipe for disaster no matter who you are or what your relationship to said wedding is. That being said, it seems like quite a few of my friends have recently or are shortly to be married which means wedding drama in my world is x1000 right now. Some people might go crazy from the drama-- or become a cynical, snarky bride-- or swear that of all the weddings out there, theirs will be different (And I have definitely taken all of those routes, but also,)I have chosen to use this as an opportunity to learn. And oh, boy, I have learned enough to fill encyclopedias. But there are a few essentials that I feel inclined to touch on here. And someday, if I do ever get around to writing that book... well, I have plenty of material to get us started:
Chapter One: No one is Original anymore.
The basic premise being-- it's a wedding kids. Everyone has been to a wedding, all weddings have the same basic elements and the same basic outcome (Someone gets married, yes?) "OMG! I was going to do that at my wedding, but now I can't because you did it at your wedding!" Um, why? Myself and the 2 million other brides that had the same 'original idea' are going to kidnap you in the middle of the night and beat you for it? Probably not. Likewise, your ideas are also not special or original-- some one's done it before and will probably do it again. Lets move on.
Chapter Two: Naming your attendants
I've had a couple of friends who have decided not to name an Honor Attendant for their wedding. Not really sure what the reasoning was behind this but it's generally a bad idea for your own sanity. Not that there is a lot of glory in being a Maid of Honor as opposed to a Bridesmaid, but it at least lets people know what their job is. No MOH? Well, okay, but you have just created chaos for the bridesmaids (crap, who is responsible for the shower? Do we have to throw a shower? Does the bride not want a shower?) and left to yourself the responsibility of organizing attendants when that could have-- should have-- been delegated to someone else to save what little sanity you may have left in those last days. sigh. Rookie mistake.
Also if you are inclined to volitile or unpredictable relationships with friends, don't ask your attendants 14 months before your wedding to be in your wedding. It's AWKWARD trying to figure out how to UN-ask someone to be in your wedding. (And you can't always find a fill-in bridesmaid the week before who wears the same size. Although sometimes you get lucky.)
Chapter Three: Learn how to lie (just like everyone else does)
Repeat after me: Oh, I'm sorry, we would love to have you there, but due to budget and space, we are having a very small wedding-- mostly family. Inevitably there are are going to be people who assume they are getting an invite and don't. Or people you may not want at your wedding at all... who wonder if their invite got lost in the mail. Just lie, like everyone else does, about the size of the guest list, be gracious, act flattered they would want to come, and disappointed they cannot... then change the subject and move on with life. If you do it well enough, you may even still get a present out of the un-invited. You do not owe anyone a personal phone call to explain why you don't like them and don't want them at your wedding. In fact, said phone call makes you look like an ass.
Chapter Four: Lowering your expectations after poor planning
I wanted to call this chapter: Guess who doesn't get a party if their best friend is still on a Honeymoon? My 'Editor' renamed it. Seriously though? How the crap do you plan a bachelorette party for someone who's wedding is a mere days from your return from your OWN honeymoon? I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I cannot logistically swing it, and it's not my fault... I did not plan the weddings that close. oi.
Chapter Five: This is a Judged Event
Every bride that's ever been or ever will be, if given the opportunity to attend your wedding or glimpse pictures will scrutinize and judge every detail... And though they would never ever say it to your face I guarantee you their conclusions will be Mine was/will be better. Shrug. It's just the nature of the game.
(and my personal favorite...)
Chapter Six: Past Lovers Make Lousy Bridesmaids
...and just give the wedding a generally creepy feel.

Friday, February 5, 2010


Here is a picture of the vehicle Z and I purchased last night. We had to get him a new vehicle after the Impala was totaled in an accident on the way home from IA at christmas-time. (*tear* for Betty) It's been well over a month that Z has been borrowing vehciles while we tried to get this straightened out, but at this point we are pretty excited about our purchase and Z is thrilled to finally have his own vehicle again. I am thrilled to report that we made a smart financial decision to pay cash for this vehicle, and the total cost of the new one was almost exactly what the insurace company had provided as compensation for his previous vehicle. It worked out beautifully, and I think we are both very happy with our purchase.

1998 Honda CR-V (that owie on the front passenger fender is being fixed as we speak, and we'll have the car in our posession by the beginning of the week!)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Valentine's day

I was rather sick, dehydrated, and delirious by the time Z came over to see me last night, so I know we talked about plans for valentines day, but I just couldn't be sure if he had really suggested what I thought he had... or if it was just my altered state of consciousness. So I asked him again today when I was a little more stable and he confirmed that I had, in fact, heard and remembered correctly.
He suggested that rather than trying to go out into the mess of valentine's day couples and dates, that we could stay home that night, maybe watch a movie and-- wait for it-- he would let me make him dinner! Sooo... you can see why I needed clarification.
If you know us very well, you know that (already) we are constantly fighting about food. Mostly because I love to make it and eat it and talk about it and feed it to other people and he... well, none of the above mentioned activities interest him all that much. And throw in the fact that he's pretty picky about what he will eat, and prefers fast food to just about anything else... we have issues. So his suggestion that I could make a meal for him is a big deal. It is a monumentally gracious sacrifice for him and an extraordinary opportunity for me to perhaps change his misconceptions about non-fast food while doing one of my favorite activities in the whole world.
This is a gift like no other.
And yet-- one that must be handled so delicately, becuase there are so many opportunities for things to end in disaster. I now face the task of putting together a home-made meal that is both tasty and non-offensive to his, er, discerning palate. And he must find a way to put aside his fickle appetite and pre-conceived notions about food, or risk crushing hopes and dreams of his beloved. Yikes.
This is a Valentines day gift of epic proportions! The night will either end with insurmountable tragedy or extraordinary success. Pray (for both our sake) for the latter.
Now, recipe suggestions anyone?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Pavlovian Soap

The soap in the bathroom at work smells like apple Jolly Ranchers... which leaves me thinking about Jolly ranchers every time I use it. I like Jolly Ranchers and havn't had one in a long time, so the post handwashing thought is not an unpleasant one, but one that has up to this point been left un-satiated. Last night when I was home I used my own restroom,and as I was washing my hands afterward found myself really wanting a jolly rancher. Great. I better add that to my shopping list.