Monday, March 4, 2013

Mama Confessions #17

I hate kid music.
There, I said it.
I mean, with all the wonderful, complex, beautiful, interesting, fun, and richly educational music available to us at the click of a button these days--
WHY is there a whole genre dedicated to silly, simplistic, poorly orchestrated, nonsense, bad grammar, and character voices with terrible vocal technique that you are supposed to expose your children to before anything else? It's horrifying. Not to mention obnoxious.
Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog... No.
You put your belly in, you put your belly out... Are you serious?
I like to ate, ate, ate, aepples and banae-naes... UGGGHHH!
Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere... please shoot me.
I can't do it. I don't want to.
Sam listens to the radio with me. We listen to my playlists. We listen to classics, top 40, broadway, progressive rock (thanks, Daddy), instrumental and choral music, easy listening, folk music, alternative... and whatever else we feel like that day. (As I write this, Sam is jammin' out to his all time favorite song-- Phillip Phillips' Home)
But I can't do it. I can't turn Pandora to that toddler station. I won't put in the CD of 'silly songs' someone gave us. I can't. It hurts my head and offends my musicianship.
And you know what? Sam seems to be developing well. He loves to sing and has above average rhythm skills for a 1 yr old. Sooooo...
Why does that stuff even exist? Does anyone enjoy it? Can anyone tolerate it? Can we sign a petition to make five green and speckled frogs sitting on a speckled log GO AWAY? I can't be the only Mama who feels this way...


Danielle said...

You are so right, most of it is inane. We draw the line at least he was a real musician before he was a kids' musician...and only about half of his stuff is tolerable (the folk songs that weren't actually written for children!).
The problem we're running into now is trying to screen "real music" for appropriate tone/content now that Ethan is big enough to understand EVERYTHING.

Sterling Holobyte said...

It's not all inane. Listen to a lot of the Wiggles songs; they are really well-produced.
Think of it this way, when you were a kid, did you REALLY enjoy hearing "adult" music? I know I didn't. I'd rather let my kid listen to fun, "simplistic" music than expose him to stuff he will be exposed to too much later on. Let a kid be a kid I say. Part of being a parent is sacrifice(like your ears for a little while).