"No no no no... I'm moving, he's not moving in til next may when we are married, he'll be helping me move." I tried to correct them, but the damage is already done. And I get, "So you are doing the: pay two rents to keep up appearances thing" and "Oh, everyone knows you guys are shacking up anyhow"
Wait-- what? What does everyone know and what is your source for this info? Because there is no shacking up-- none. Trust me, I think if anyone knew for sure it would be me. And they all respond with sideways looks and patronizing nods. They don't believe me, and now I am really uncomfortable for several reasons... 1) Maybe I am not really cool with discussing this with my co-workers to begin with 2) Since we are discussing it, and I can't even set the record straight... how can I win? I can't.
So what it comes down to is I have all the reputation of being a trampy whore without any of the actual benefits of trampy whore-dom. Perfect. But it gets better because they also believe I am lying about being a trampy whore. So that's cool. I'm a liar, a tramp, and I'm still not gettting any. My life is awesome.