Friday, October 16, 2009

Unfounded Assumption of Trampiness

I was having lunch with my boss and some co-workers the other day and I happened to mention that at the end of the month I would be moving into a new place. They asked what my move in day was and I made the mistake of saying "We will be moving the 23rd" immediately everyone perks up-- WE? Oh, so you are moving in with your boyfriend? You and Preacher boy living together before marriage? Apparently they can't pass over a good scandal.
"No no no no... I'm moving, he's not moving in til next may when we are married, he'll be helping me move." I tried to correct them, but the damage is already done. And I get, "So you are doing the: pay two rents to keep up appearances thing" and "Oh, everyone knows you guys are shacking up anyhow"
Wait-- what? What does everyone know and what is your source for this info? Because there is no shacking up-- none. Trust me, I think if anyone knew for sure it would be me. And they all respond with sideways looks and patronizing nods. They don't believe me, and now I am really uncomfortable for several reasons... 1) Maybe I am not really cool with discussing this with my co-workers to begin with 2) Since we are discussing it, and I can't even set the record straight... how can I win? I can't.
So what it comes down to is I have all the reputation of being a trampy whore without any of the actual benefits of trampy whore-dom. Perfect. But it gets better because they also believe I am lying about being a trampy whore. So that's cool. I'm a liar, a tramp, and I'm still not gettting any. My life is awesome.


Joe said...

Nice. I'll do my part by spreading the rumor on Sun.

Donnie Miller said...

Don't worry, it'll be worth the wait when you do finally get to 'shack up.'