When I expressed this desire to the fiance the other day he wasn't exactly encouraging. Well, to be fair, I guess I can see where he is coming from. He is working through his last year of undergraduate work and wondering how we are going to have money to live and him go to seminary and I am supposed to be saving for our honeymoon and helping him pay for school when I say-- I think I want to go back to school. And I won't say he discouraged the idea... but he acknowledged that I probably do feel this way and that I probably should do something to utilize my talents and pursue a career I would enjoy but thats something we could look at in a few years. He was maybe a tad patronizing.
So... I... was frustrated and ignored what he said and did some research on language courses and culinary schools and settles on the latter. Went ahead and signed up-- starting in January. I couldn't be more excited. A bit impulsive-- I know, but that's the only way I get things done. When I told him about it tonight, he didn't have much response. And I guess I don't know what I really expected his response to be... but I didn't expect it to be a nothing.
So now I have this really yucky feeling of unfulfilled inadequacy mixed with disappointment and it sits in my stomach like a heavy rock. I really wanted him to be encouraging and excited for me. Maybe he is just taking time to process.
I wish he didn't process. I wish I were not so impulsive. Regardless, Culinary Arts school in January... here I come.