Z: How about a foot rub?
Me: Sure, then we can make out.
Z: (makes a face) I'm not really feelin' that tonight.
Me: Then I am not really feeling a foot rub.
Z: But I have a coupon! You gave it to me for Valentine's day!
Me: Maybe you should have given your wife a coupon to make out, if you were planning to cash that in.
Z: But you told me not to get you anything for Valentine's Day!
Me: That was a trap. It's always a trap, you know that.
Z: (Defeated) I know. But how am I supposed to surprise you when you control all the money?
Me: Be very clever and thoughtful.
Z: What, am I supposed to make tiny withdrawals and hide away $5 a week for months in advance?
Me: Yes. If that's what it takes. PLAN AHEAD.
Z: (pause) Sooo... no foot rub?
Me: No foot rub.
Z: (Walks away grumbling about how unfair life is...)