Notable

My purple Honda, Barry, hit the 100,000 mile mark last week. We celebrated with a full tank of gas, rather than the half tanks Barry is more accustomed to. I think Barry appreciated the extravagance.

Valerie's Wish List

Things I can honestly live without, but still desire very much to live with. Most of these are-- er-- higher price points, but feel free to indulge me for the next gift-giving holiday, or you know, just for fun. :) I've included links for each item. In no particular order:



Kitchenaid Mixer: It's pretty, shiny, red... I mean, I could mix things by hand-- but, why???












Hammock: preferably on a beach or in my own backyard (but that requires me actually having a back yard) But... ahhh... yeah. (Side note: I enjoy that the hammock website's catch phrase is 'accomplish nothing...')






Jimmy Choo: Dear Jimmy, I might love you... These are just so pretty, I can't stand it. I'll take a pair in size 6 please!









Vera Wang Mattress: Okay, for real, it doesn't have to be Vera Wang. But it just cracks me up that she started off designing wedding gowns and has moved on to a mattress collection? Weird. However, my bed is old, sad, and worn out... and in my wildest dreams, I wake up in a big ridiculously comfortable bed--sans backaches and soreness. Ahhh... :)









Cast iron grill: (Note: also kitchenaid, same shade of red.) Who doesn't love enameled cast iron? I could do some serious damage with this in my kitchen. Flank steaks, anyone?








1 ct Diamond Ring: Self explanatory. And beautiful.

No, I'm not engaged.

I am pretty sure just about every conversation I had today started with no, I am not engaged yet. Then they want to know why. Then they think they are the first to recommend that i should really get going on that. The next comment is, oh maybe someone should have a talk with that boy... and maybe someone should. But I am not going to be that someone, so knock yourself out. Thus far it has not been an overwhelming success, which is one of the reasons I decided to post here. Let's clear up this matter once and for all:
Henceforth, all questions regarding engagement (including, but not limited to: if it has happened, when it will happen, how it will happen, if there will be a ring, if he already has the ring, if he is planning on talking to my dad, if he is going to surprise me, how long we plan to be engaged, and/or how we will announce to the masses) should be directed to a Mr. Zachary Pogemiller. Contact info is available upon request.
(sorry, chief. I love ya, but I'm throwin' you under the the bus on this one.)

Best quote of my week:

"I got my eye brows waxed once-- I will never do it again. I was Michelle Kwan for a week."

Random List

I thought it was time for more random thoughts of a valerie, and you all know how I love a good list... so here we are, a list of nothing in particular, in no particular order:
1) My job gets a bad rap, so I feel it is time I said something positive about it: Working with two mom's who bring their children to work every day has been EXCELLENT birth control. Now then, see what a nice place it is to work? I am sure your perception has changed greatly. Okay, I feel better.
2) I was really excited about these little no-show socks for wearing with ballet flats. They are kind of not effective. well, I guess they funtion as socks, but the definitely show and look silly. I think I have discovered the flaw: They are 'one size fits all', right? So I am thinking if i had a size 11 ft as opposed to a siz 6 ft, they would stetch out more, and thus not show. I have never before wished for larger feet and I am not going to start now, so i guess I must be wishing for smaller socks, becuase the concept it amazing, even if the execution leaves something to be desired.
3) I do not know what Twitter is, nor do I understand how it works or why it is necessary.
4) I believe I have been asked at least once a day every day since December if I am engaged yet. Nope. Not yet. The next question is always... when's it going to happen? Um... how am I supposed to know? And If I did know... why would I dilvulge the info to a curious acquaintance while keeping it a secret from everyone else? Silly people! Stop asking!!! It will happen soon enough... and as soon as the info goes public, I am sure you will know-- because Judy Sass can barely contain her excitement as it is, and given the chance she can spread juicy information faster than old ladies at a prayer meeting, It's truly amazing.
5) My favorite pair of earrings don't actually belong to me. They are a pair of earrings I bought for my mom on a whim one day becuase I thought she would like them. As it turns out, she did, quite a bit, as do I. And so the earrings travel between us-- me sometimes stealing them for months at a time before she spies them dangling from my lobes or in my jewelry box, and reclaims them. Right now they are in my posession! Shhh...
6) I applied to be a public notary for my work... which kinda makes me feel as though I should have poofy blue hair and thick glasses with one of those pearl chains to keep them around my neck... because every notary I have ever known was about 400 years old. Turns out the age requirement is 18. Who knew?

A Different Kind of Job Security

It's one thing when YOU feel like your job is worthless and below your intellegence level, it is quite another thing when your boss affirms that very thing:
"...don't think of it as a bad job, think of it as job security--because no one else around here would stoop low enough to do the job you do." --My Boss, when discussing with me the new changes in my job description.
As you might have guessed, my self-worth is sky high today. I also have a strong sense that the people around me respect and appreciate what I do. I'm going to go bury myself in some paperwork now.

The IRS just isn't worth it.

I'm a procrastinator. And a panicker. And when I procrastinate and things go wrong at the last minute I panic BIG TIME. Which brings us to 'tax season' which is just code for 'big breakdown waiting to happen'... because lets just be honest when you wait til the last two days to do your taxes, things are not going to be where you filed them, your numbers aren't going to make sense, and your bank is going to charge you $20 to print the statement you lost from last year. (yeah, they did, that was kind of crappy of them , wasn't it?)
So I was preparing my taxes, poised and ready for the breakdown... and there it was, (or wasn't as the case may be--) the necessary missing and unattainable document that would send me in my panicking downward spiral to IRS failure, death and doom. Ready to forsake all hope, and cry like a little girl over my lack of ability to get my taxes done correctly and on time... I did the only logical thing anyone in my situation would, I called a friend to whine about how much i hate taxes. After a good 15 minutes of cursing taxes, and cataloguing all the evils involved with filing them, my good friend sympathetically agreed, "The IRS just isn't worth it."
And she's right, you know. Probably not worth my drama and panicking and tears and hatred. The IRS doesn't know. They don't care. I would have thrown in the towel right then and there and just said "SCREW YOU, IRS!!!" But I was afraid that they might hunt me down and kidnap my dog for ransom if I didn't pay (which i inevitably always have to do...)
So I pulled myself together and grumpily worked my way through the rest of my tax preparations, and filed my taxes the next day.
As it turns out, the IRS is worth it-- because for once, they owed me money, instead of the other way around. HA! I feel strangely vindicated this side of filing my taxes. And I did it with hours--nay, DAYS!-- to spare. I'm pretty much a tax genius.