It's funny how...

...when you think things are finally going to turn out great-- something always goes awry.
Not awry as in, throws you into the dark deep pits of despair kind of awry, but just enough to twist your plans out of the shape you had so carefully groomed them for and take you back a few steps... and probably your pride down a few notches. You following? I am bad at metaphors. It works out in my brain. Anyway...
Things were going pretty good, and one little blow has set me back considerably... all those yucky feelings of doubt frustration and lonliness have visited me today, and I feel like I am no further than I was a year ago. UGH. I know I will get past it... but that rational knowledge hasn't quite reached the less rational more emotional corners of my being yet. I know I will move forward and past this, but it seems out of sight right now. In the mean time, patience and affirmations are needed... but how do you ask someone for that? I am afraid of being needy, but I know I have to get better about communicating my needs with the people who can help me. It's all this weird balance of communication and understanding and stuff I am not good at.
I don't know if any of this has a point tonight. Maybe it's more about soemthings I have been thinking the past couple weeks and less about something that makes sense or is enjoyable for you to read. I have those days sometimes. Sorry if you were hoping for something profound or ammusing today.
Ugh, I am growing up and learning a lot and having set backs a long the way, but I am doing alright i guess. I hope. Dear Lord, Help?

Hot chocolate makes everything better...

Mmm... hot chocolate on a cold day makes everything better...
...even a bad chill and a headache.
...even people at work who are intentionally obnoxious.
...even a day you wasted looking for your keys when they were right there the whole time.
...even that stupid crack in your windshield.
...even awkward couple gifts from mom to you and your boyfriend.
...even insomnia.
...even a bad case of the munchies.
...even your boss calling you hefty.
...even bad days, lonely nights, and second thoughts. (sigh, yeah, i miss you.)
Yup... everything.

Live from my couch:

I think the stress and frustration and business of this past week finally just took it's toll on my body... and stress won. Which left me curled in a miserable little ball on my bed willing the headache to go away with all my might, and having no luck accomplishing the task. Thanks to the marvels of modern medicine, I was able to take some drugs that knocked me out for a solid 8 hrs. When I awoke this morning, however, the drugs had not knocked out the headache. which is why I come to you now, live from my couch, when I should be at work. I actually am feeling better now, but it being a little after one it is not worth it to go into work for a couple hours just to deal with junk when I am still not at 100%. So Winston and I are taking it easy.
Actually, Winston thinks he's a king today, becuase someone stayed home to keep the bed warm just for him! Cool, huh?
I think I shall round out my sick-y fest/day off by eating some oatmeal, wrapping a few straggling Christmas presents, and begging my roommate to go pick up my pay check. If all goes well I should be rosey enough to view last nights episode of The Office with Lance by this evening. Can't wait! Now I just have to find motivation to shower...

Oh Flu Season, Don't be late!

At this point I am willing to contract many kinds of sickness to avoid work. If anyone has a particularly nasty flu or a cold they could throw my direction, that would be great... actually, come spend some time with me. We could share a beverage or something. It'll be great fun.

What I'm eating today:

Valerie's Creamy, Cheesy, Broccoli Soup Goodness, or Soup for Boyfriends.

.25 cup chopped yellow onion
1-2 cloves chopped garlic
1 tblsp butter
spoonful of flour
1 cup milk
1.5 cups chicken stock
6 oz cream cheese (cubed)
2 oz shredded swiss cheese
4 oz shredded sharp cheddar cheese
10 oz chopped frozen broccoli
.25 tsp. Nutmeg (secret ingredient that makes it SO VERY yummy-- don't skip it becuase it seems weird.)
Salt and pepper

Saute onions and garlic in butter until onion is translucent-ish. Blend in flour reduce to med heat and add cream cheese and milk. Stir until cream cheese is melted smooth. Stir in chicken stock and cheese, then broccoli, nutmeg and salt/pepper to taste. Heat over medium 'til it bubbles a bit. You can put it through the blender if you desire a nice smooth consistancy, i kinda like it chunky. Serve with a little shredded cheddar on top to make it pretty and some crusty bread. Yummy. Francesca's boyfriend could eat the whole pot, but we make him share.

I love my job.

Today was a weird day. The system of logging tickets that we have been doing for the past year is all of a sudden completely wrong today. Jim says he never told me to enter things that way (he did) and that he was not a part of the conversation where that decision was made (he was the instigator). So i am supposed to do things completely different... but thus far everyone has been so upset about the old incorrect way i have been doing things that no one has bothered to tell me the correct way to do it. I tried to ask... and just more drama and frustration over the old way. So i am kind of sitting here with a pile of work to do, and no idea how they want me to do it differently... and i am just twiddling my thumbs til they can get over the drama and explain to me how things should go.
I love my job.
OH also... I got in trouble today becuase I have been texting more than my allotted share (my work provides me with a cell phone, also for personal use-- it's cool to not have a cell phone bill, but sucks that they have access to me 24 hrs a day-- and take advantage of it... but i can't complain, becuase i don't have a cell phone bill, but it sucks that they get to decide how and how much I get to use it... But I don't have a cell phone bil... sooooo... anyway) they noticed that my texting has picked up significantly since august... I wonder what that trend might represent? Jim thinks it has something to do with Lance. Jim's solution: "Give your boyfriend an extra kiss on the cheek at night and try to control yourselves." (Yes, he actually said that to me, which wasn't at all awkward...)
On the plus side, the UPS creeper came today and he told me my hair looks good and that I look really pretty today. Thanks, Creeper! :)
What was that, again... ? Oh yes: I LOVE MY JOB.
(maybe if i keep saying it, it will come true...?)