Monday, December 29, 2008

It's funny how...

...when you think things are finally going to turn out great-- something always goes awry.
Not awry as in, throws you into the dark deep pits of despair kind of awry, but just enough to twist your plans out of the shape you had so carefully groomed them for and take you back a few steps... and probably your pride down a few notches. You following? I am bad at metaphors. It works out in my brain. Anyway...
Things were going pretty good, and one little blow has set me back considerably... all those yucky feelings of doubt frustration and lonliness have visited me today, and I feel like I am no further than I was a year ago. UGH. I know I will get past it... but that rational knowledge hasn't quite reached the less rational more emotional corners of my being yet. I know I will move forward and past this, but it seems out of sight right now. In the mean time, patience and affirmations are needed... but how do you ask someone for that? I am afraid of being needy, but I know I have to get better about communicating my needs with the people who can help me. It's all this weird balance of communication and understanding and stuff I am not good at.
I don't know if any of this has a point tonight. Maybe it's more about soemthings I have been thinking the past couple weeks and less about something that makes sense or is enjoyable for you to read. I have those days sometimes. Sorry if you were hoping for something profound or ammusing today.
Ugh, I am growing up and learning a lot and having set backs a long the way, but I am doing alright i guess. I hope. Dear Lord, Help?

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