We had to go shopping for some dress clothes for my grandma's funeral because Z's dress pants were 'lost' (and later found in a closet we both looked through several times, we found them when we got home, i laughed so hard, i almost cried) and he needed a new white shirt and tie. It's not quite February yet, so the deal is still on with his 3 month beard, but when I met him today he was clean shaven (my preference!). I was waiting outside the dressing room while he tried on the new pants and shirt and when he stepped out in the new outfit my pulse got a little faster. Boyfriend looks NICE in a crisp white shirt (most guys do, but mine in particular). I know he prefers his facial hair, and I know he hates dressing up, but today he was doing it for me (and a little for grandma who commented on his 'whiskers', but mostly for me.)and when he was standing there with the 'do you approve?' look on his face I just wanted to kiss him and tell him thank you... but the sales guy was standing there and it would have been awkward... so I took a mental picture of my handsome fiance, and nodded my approval.
He changed, we paid and left, but I squeezed his hand and thanked him on the way out of the store. I love him a lot, and I know he loves me, and I so love the way he decided to show me today, even though I've been crazy emotional and sad, and probably not easy to put up with this week.
I know grandma prayed for years for this man who is to be my husband. If she were still alive I would be sharing with her this little moment over the phone, and she would be tickled. I guess her death is the reason I had today's moment of affirmation though... so in some ways, there are little gifts that grandma is still giving us, even though she is gone. If... thats not too weird to say.