I unintentionally missed church this morning... but honestly I think the extra sleep and hour or two of quiet stillness in my home have done more for my spirit than anything else could right now. When did my life get so busy? Even when I am not at work, meetings, rehearsal, or church I still have so many things that must be accomplished that my head and my feet never stop. Or if they do, I feel guilty for my lack of activity. But when did activity become mandatory for every second of my waking hours? I don't know.
I do know that I need to slow down. I need space to think, breathe, and pray. I need some time to ask tough questions right now, and figure out the answers. There has been no time for asking questions or learning truth as I have over-filled my life. And not with bad things... with 'good' things... like spending time with friends/family, working, and using my talents... doing things I enjoy... but doing so much that my head and heart are overwhelmed.
So I am sitting in my quiet house this morning, not even the dogs are here making noise. And the quiet is a wonderful sound. Sitting and doing nothing and refusing to think of things that need to be done is welcome rest for my soul. I am quietly reviewing my life--the past week, past months, etc. and thinking about the things that brought me joy, and the times when I kinda blew it. And I am working my brain around how to handle some new situations and changing relationships in my life. I am trying to remember how to be loving or even just how to be 'nice' to some really frustrating people... instead of just trying to ignore it because 'I don't have time.' What a horrible horrible thing to say.
In just a little bit I will get up and do some laundry and wash some dishes then gather up my things and head out the door for another performance. But I will leave my home refreshed and energized, for a change, and ready to share that energy with many people I will meet today. I am quite grateful for my quiet time out today.