We have this problem.
We have more money going out than we have coming in. And while we can manage that in emergency situations for a month or two... It's not a good way to sustain a family for an indefinite period of time.
My dad is somewhat of a financial counselor... and if he had a catch phrase, it would be this, "If you find you do not have enough money you have two choices: You need to either make more, or spend less." Pretty simple concept. So we went through our budget and slashed all the 'extras' in an attempt to spend less, and when we got to the things we could not or were not willing to slash (rent/utilities/tithe/food/student loans) we decided we needed to go the other route and make more.
Zachary has been looking for a second job since January, with absolutley no success. I have started looking for a second job as well, but I am nervous about taking on a second job myself and what that might mean for the future of our family (basically I desire to preserve the limited time we actually have together on weekends). But we have both been searching... to no avail.
Ideally it would be wonderful if Z could pick up a full time job at his current employer, but thats a waiting game because it could be tomorrow or 4 years from now before something opens up. SO FRUSTRATING! and two and a half months of searching for work and nothing... devastating and discouraging.
So Z called me on his way home from work last night. I was hanging out at 'girls night' and so I was like-- eh, i'll talk to you when i get home and he says-- I have something to tell you. A full time position was posted at my station today.
He put in a bid for the job and it will be probably several weeks before we hear something... but if he did get this job it would (obviously) be more hours, and also more pay. It would be a challenging position for him with an inconsistant schedule, but even still would allow us more time together. It would be an answer to prayer, and it would be (and I know ya'll mock me for my over-use of this phrase, but it is used quite literally here) life changing.
My heart was pounding in my chest. We have been praying and praying, and fretting, and searching for an answer to our situation-- and felt like there was nothing-- no hope. I have asked Z on many occasions, "Why is this so hard? Why are things so complicated for us? We are good people, and smart people-- why can't we get a break?" And I know that you don't get everything you want on a silver platter just because you are a 'good person'. But does anyone else feel like all the bums and slackers get the lucky breaks in this world? Why can't good people catch a break?
I told Z last night-- maybe this is our break. I don't want to be so hopeful becuase a lot of things have to come in line before this could happen. But maybe this whole ordeal we've been struggling with has not been just a coincidence. And maybe our prayers have been heard and our God (who admittedly is a much better planner and arranger than control freak ME) is just starting to show us the corner of the unfolding plan he has for our life. Maybe he does have a 'break' for us.
Not just because we are mostly good people... but because he loves us even when we are not.
I think the title of this post should probably be "Hope" because I am just tasting hope for the first time in such a long while. Whatever the outcome of this current situation I am feeling good about our future. Good things are happening in our life. God things. Good God things.
And now I am rambling.