Monday, August 27, 2012

On being another year older, but maybe not wiser.

Twenty seven.
That's right, kids. We're in our late twenties-- wha-WHAT?
I am a huge fan of birthdays. I always have been. I have never been sad about getting older, and have never really understood why people get all worked up about birthdays... or their age... or whatever. Maybe I am not old enough yet, but I have always thought age was something to be celebrated, not mourned or ashamed of. Meh, I don't know.
I asked Z last friday (on his b-day) Do you feel like a 29 year old man? He just shrugged. Then said something to the effect of you are only as old as you decide to act... which I think is true and valid to some extent. We have a nice life, a social life, a busy life. We are active and try to stay healthy. We surround ourselves with lots of family and friends and try to balance everyday life with fun, spontaneous, or a little goofy occasions. I think some people would say that keeps us young-- others (probably other younger and unmarried) would say that makes us old.
But I only occasionally feel old.
I spent some time with my oldest best friend the other day. April and I have been friends for... 27 years. Yup, since the day I was born. We have met so many significant milestones together, school, college graduation, marriage, and even having kids. We were sitting on the floor with our kiddos playing together on my birthday, and we laughed at each other asking-- when did we get so old? When we are together it still feels like we are goofy little kids, it's so strange that we have goofy little kids now. :)
Being a mother has definitely made me feel older. I would like to say it has made me wiser as well... but I bet most parents would agree if there's one thing that parenting teaches you-- it's that you don't know crap. About anything.
We are learning. We learn all kinds of things every day, but the more we learn the more I am aware of the vastness of things I don't understand and maybe never will.
But maybe... that in itself is wisdom-- knowing that you don't know.
And probably having a healthy respect for what you don't know, and a good amount of grace for yourself at the same time.
We can't stop time, we can't stop aging... but we do have control over growth. I hope in this 27 year to keep growing. Keep moving, learning, growing, celebrating, and loving through all life brings to me.
Late twenties? Pshh. Bring it.

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