There have been some significant changes in the Pogemiller house recently. I feel like we've made some huge leaps and turned a corner. There were some dark days we trudged through to get us there, but things are going better now... and I am excited that some decisions we made have taken shape and brought about real change in our lives.
I know... seeing as how it is January, it kinda seems new-years-resolution-ish. But it's not really. I don't like new years resolutions, I don't do that, it's silly. It just so happens that we hit our breaking point and had a 'come-to-jesus' talk about it... right after the first of the year. Z and I agreed we weren't completely happy with the way our marriage, finances, relationships were going, and changes need to be made.
First off-- we kinda needed to take a look at our finances. We've been kind of average-ly responsible with out finances, started off with the best intentions of tracking and sticking to our strict budget... but didn't stick to it as closely as we intended. We met all our bills, and put a little into our savings, but other than that we kinda weren't real sure what the deal was with our cash flow other than money was pretty tight, and we could do better. So we got a better budget in place, set some specific goals, and streamlined our spending. All so we can meet this more important goal (more than a goal-- a CALLING) to be more generous. We both feel it's important to give generously of all your resources. Even when money is tight-- we know are still blessed financially and want to give more generously out of that blessing. Because we got a handle on our money, we are able to make specific contributions to ministries in our church we believe in and want to support, and we also have 'room' in our budget that in our day to day lives if we see a need-- we have the resources to (at least help) fulfill it. To me... this is hands down the most exciting decision we have ever made as a couple.
We've made some other changes too. We are studying a passage of scripture together right now. It's sparked some interesting conversations. We are somewhat amused by our difference in perspective-- evidenced by the way we ask and answer questions. (I sure you are shocked to hear Z asks the scholarly, historical, theologically based questions, I tend to think more narrative, emotional, and relational... hmmm... ) We are learning from each other... but also learning about each other in the process? Which has been good for us.
We eat breakfast together every morning now. I know... seems insignificant. But it was a change. We each have to get up a little earlier, But I love those extra twenty minutes I have with him each day. Sometimes he reads to me, sometimes we watch the news/weather, sometimes we just talk. We try to pray together (why do we feel awkward praying together? I don't know. It's getting easier, though). If for no other reason, this is good for me because I am more awake, alert, and ready to start my day-- rather than stumbling out of the house half asleep chugging coffee. bleh.
I made Z get rid of score cards. Okay, not literally-- i mean we didn't literally have score cards. But i hate the idea of 'keeping track' and things being 'fair'. The other day he didn't do something I had asked him to, and I had to do it, and he said 'I owe you one'. But I hate that mentality, and I hate that kind of language. No more keeping score of anything in the Pogemiller house, and no more using that kind of language. We are just finding ways to help each other as much as possible with no score card to keep track of who is doing more... and it's been better. A lot better. My husband has gone from being my opponent to being my helper and leader. It's a beautiful thing, my friends. Beautiful, beautiful thing.
Now... before you start to roll your eyes my world through rose colored glasses-- please recall what a miserable, pathetic person I have been for the past several months up to this point... mmm... recall that now? ugh. Gross. I am still that person, and I am still human. And... I am also smart enough to realize the limits I have because of my chronic human-ness. So I know that more bumps in the road and trials are surely coming my way (and SOON because things seem to be going so well right now, right?). But the changes we have made in our life have brought us to a much healthier place... and have no desire to be where we were before, so this work in progress will continue to be, well, work. But at least progressing in the right direction now.
(You like how I did that? How I cleverly turned that phrase as I summed up the post? Geez, that's the kind of stuff that gets me up in the morning! I love a good pun and a turn of phrase. It's gonna be a good day.)