You're uninvited.

Soooo... I got a call from a really good friend today. Initially I was really excited because she lives in Indiana and I live here... so we don't get to talk that often. We are both planning weddings so we have a lot to talk about, and it's always fun to hear from her. In college we had a mutual friend who--to put things really nicely--I had a falling out with. Her family got involved and it was actually quite nasty... but it's been quite a few years since that and the few times I have seen her since she has managed to be civil even if the family has not. Anyway... got a call from my good friend who is still really good friends with former friend and the hateful family... and she was calling to tell me that she cannot invite me to her wedding because former friend and the family cannot handle it. So I'm like-- thats weird because I kinda thought we were all adults who could handle being in the same room with someone we weren't overwhelming fond of for the sake of not putting the bride in a really crappy situation. But apparently not ALL of us fall into the aforementioned category. SO I'm a little bit confused and a little bit hurt but I manage to gulp out an it's okay, and I am sorry that there are people in your life that put you in that kind of situation-- and she imediately jumps to their defense, and defends her decision-- because obviously me not being there is best for everyone. And... at that point I don't really have a clue how i am supposed to respond. So I tell her I hope her day is great, and she says she hopes this doesn't affect our relationship-- you know, because why would it?
It's not so much the non-invite to the wedding that offends me, but the fact that when I was trying to be gracious and let her off the hook in her crappy situation she turned around and told me this was the best way. I'm already offended-- you wanna go ahead and twist that knife when you could have bowed out without making yourself look like a total ass, your friend feel like an unwanted idiot, and effectively permanantly damaging that relationship?
It's just... it was a crappy thing to do and a really crappy way to do it. (And Erin told my I could say that. haha)